please ready the smelling salts.

I’m not gonna lie to you, folks, I’m nervous as hell about this reading. I am trying my hand at some serious self-promotion, and have sent out emails to people from all contexts of my life. I’ve made makeshift business cards that are embarassingly flimsy but will have to do. I’ve chosen the right piece (not without frantically solicited input from Alexis & Tristan (THANK YOU!)). So, I’m trying. Trying to garner support, gather a following, all that stuff. But getting up there freaks me out.
Especially because there isn’t a page in my book that doesn’t mention drugs, or sex, or some other embarassing trashy thing. Well, hells bells. My motto when I was writing the damn thing was: “tell the truth” so I told a bunch of lies that sounded true so I’m just gonna have to get up there and let the thing be. In my new weird dress. With all my quitting smoking weight that many of these people haven’t seen me with yet. And I might have one of the following health problems (testing is in the works): A) inability to regulate my blood sugar, B) an ulcer, or C) diabetes, so I really can’t drink before or after.
Anyway, I am also stunned by the excitement and wondrousness of this opportunity: grateful to have it, and grateful for all the loving people I know in PDX who are coming to see me.
I hope there’s a podium so my hands don’t shake.
This post is supposed to be funny, so please laugh.

2 thoughts on “please ready the smelling salts.

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